I finally seem to be leaving this plateau and actually losing weight again. Actually, last week I had to go home to see my parents and of course my mom gave me all this disgusting and fattening food that I had to eat because they insisted we all eat together. I weighed myself the day after when I got home and I hadn’t gained any weight. It was weird, but I was happy.

Also, my period’s a week late (and no, there’s no chance at all that I’m pregnant). When I was the deepest into my eating disorder I didn’t have my period for about 2 years, when I got it back I think I was a mixture of depressed and relieved. I don’t know if I want kids or not when I’m older, but it made me feel like the option was still open to me. Although I know I’ve done untold damage to my body by not having a period for 2 years. Anyway, I have a feeling I’m heading that way again, and I’m not exactly upset about it. It’s not the same for everyone, but when I didn’t have my period I also wasn’t experiencing the symptoms of it, like cramping or bloating.

I have a month till Thanksgiving break, and I’m determined to reach the 130s by then. I don’t care if I’m 139, it would make me happy.