Every single time I post a picture of my si, I feel incredibly stupid and embarrassed. And that’s the point. I’m trying to accomplish two things by doing it: one is to stop being embarrassed about my issues and allow myself to reach out for help, and the second is to basically keep myself from doing it. Every time I take out the razor I have to think “are you going to be okay with everyone knowing you’ve done this?” I’m getting to the point where it’s getting harder and harder to hide the fact that I’m hurting myself. In the beginning I could make up excuses, but I’ve got too many suspicious scars accumulated to really convince anyone that they’re just a result of clumsiness. I find this behavior so childish and not at all congruent with how I view myself as I’m generally fun and cheerful. I want to stop but I’ve learned from an early age not to deal with my emotions in a healthy way, and I still find self injury to be comforting and hard to resist. So that’s why I do it, not because I feel sorry for myself, and not because I want to show off or anything stupid like that. I just needed to say this.

me in high school: depressed, isolated, outcast, bullied, self harming, eating disordered, etc.

my brother in high school: homecoming king

….the fuck?

Stay strong m’dear. I know you don’t know me, but I’m around if you ever need someone to talk to.

(Source: xslitwristsx)

that is the question.